But, I Feel So FAT!!!

I am learning about perceptions and reality lately. I feel one way when in reality it is completely different. It has been very eye-opening and it just proves things just aren’t what they appear to be.

I have been in a building/maintenance phase in my journey. Do you remember my post called ‘Learning to Eat Again?’ When I realized that I wasn’t losing anymore fat despite all my drastic, and unhealthy, efforts I knew that it was time to allow my body to rest and recuperate.

This phase requires me to eat more than I am comfortable doing. I have been in a fat loss mindset for so long that I am actually scared of eating too much. I don’t want to be “that fat girl” again. I know that is harsh but I’m just being honest here. It is so hard that I have concluded that I am not even ready for a building phase yet. That would require me to eat above my caloric needs so that I can build muscle. I am firmly in maintenance mode which means I eat exactly what my body is using through lifting and exercising. I don’t go up or down in weight.

Anyway, it is a process. Back to this reality vs. perception thing.

One of the victims of this phase I am in is my stomach. It was a lot flatter a few weeks ago and I actually had abs starting to stick out. I was thrilled but what’s the point if you aren’t healthy, right? A pooch has returned. I don’t like it and it makes me feel really overweight again.

I feel bloated.

I feel like I am putting on 5 pounds a day.

There have been quite a few conversations with my husband saying I am done with this. I am going into another a cutting phase to get lean again. I feel so gross.

But, guess what????????

My clothes fit the same if not better.

The scale has only moved 3 pounds and not at all the last few weeks…

AND my fat percentage has gone DOWN!!!!

You would think I’ve gained 10-15 pounds from the way I feel and whimper and whine.

Usually, I would say to avoid the scale because your real test of progress is your clothes and how you feel. Apparently, how I feel is deceiving.

I am using the scale to slap me across the face ONCE a week to show that I am doing fine. Once a week I remind myself that I am doing the right thing and I commit to another week.

I am allowing my body to rest and re-energize for when I actually ask it to burn fat again. And when I do it this time it will be awesome.

Have you ever experienced this?? Do you feel one way and yet reality is completely different?

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But, I Feel So FAT!!!

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