The Demons of Body Image



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This past week I came to a realization. For a personal trainer who has a blog and a Facebook page I sure don’t take many pictures of myself.

Why is that?

I pondered and I pondered. I prayed. I did some soul-searching and I realized something I never really considered before now.

I write and talk quite a bit about body image and how we should love ourselves as the awesome creations that we are. God LOVES us just the way we are and so should we. Yes, we are on a journey for better health but that is no reason why we should not love the body God gave us.

Well, I have a harsh confession. This is hard for me to say.

I did not believe that for myself. *sigh* In the deepest part of my heart I did not believe the very words I was saying to you for myself.

For some awful reason, I thought that I was an exception to the rule. I thought I could look a woman in the eyes and tell her that she is beautiful just the way she is because GOD created her but I was different. My body was NOT worthy of praise. I was broken and not worth mentioning.

This is not easy for me to write. Part of me is afraid that everyone will run away, calling me a fraud. But, then I think, How can you trust me if I am not honest with you?

So, this is me being totally open, honest, and raw with you. I battle body image demons just like so many women. It is a rough road to travel. I know. I get it.

I now know why I have been fighting so hard for women to love themselves as God’s creation for so long. I was fighting against my own inclinations. I was speaking to myself without even knowing it.

So, after all these realizations I went to the gym last Friday. I decided to do a little Self-Love. I totally stepped out of my comfort zone and I took pictures of myself. I entered the world of “selfies.” HA HA!!

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This collage of pictures was taken on April 5, 2014. Let me share my BEFORE picture from April 22, 2011.

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I am so thankful for my husband who forced me to take this BEFORE picture when I made the decision to actually change my future by starting my fitness journey. If he gave in to my protests that I can’t stand the idea of having him take my picture like this, I wouldn’t have a BEFORE picture to share.

When I look at these pictures side by side I am amazed. I have come so far. I have battled countless demons on this journey.

When I look at my current pictures I still see my flaws. 😦 I still shudder a bit when thinking about sharing my pictures because they are not “perfect.”

But, I proclaim right here and right now that I will FIGHT this battle. I will accept this body for the awesomeness that it is. WHY? Because God MADE me awesome.

I look at those pictures and I also see hard work. I see strength. I see passion. And I see a mission to help other women too.

From this point forward I will be sharing more pictures of MYSELF on my Facebook page. 🙂 I will share my pictures even if it hurts. I will be IN the pictures for once. Want to learn more about ME? Go there.



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The Demons of Body Image

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