May Your Children Be The Reason, Not The Excuse

Children.

We love them so.

We can’t remember life before them.

We can’t imagine life without them.

But, they sure do take up a lot of our time. Right?

How in the world is a woman supposed to get healthy and fit when her children are constantly needing her attention? Throw in taking care of the house and perhaps a job, and fitness seems like a far away dream to be achieved when the kids are grown up.

I get it. I totally do. I have a child of my own and I choose to stay home with him and homeschool him. So, I am Mom, Teacher, Wife, Housekeeper, Chef, Chauffeur, Social Secretary, and Doctor all wrapped into one giant burrito. It pretty much takes up my whole day from dawn to after dark.

Then how in the world do you have time to work out? I do it because I make my workouts on the same level as any other appointments. I don’t cancel doctor appointments or school activities unless I absolutely have to and I don’t cancel workouts unless I or my son are sick or something comes up that is of greater good than exercise (Yes, there are such times. Ha!).

But, my schedule and how I do it isn’t the point of this post. We’ll discuss strategies later.

The issue I want to address here today is the guilt that comes with taking the time to exercise. That time is often done apart from your children and I have found that many women feel some guilt over that. I have spoken with stay-at-home Moms with young children not in school yet, Moms with kids in school during the day, working Moms, and homeschool Moms.

I have heard quite often,

“I don’t workout because I just don’t have the time with all the stuff going on with the kids.”

Or,

“I don’t workout because I feel so bad about dropping them off in the childcare room.”

Or,

“I don’t workout because I can’t get away from the kids to workout.”

Okay, here’ s the thing. I totally understand your kids pretty much hung the moon in your book. I think my guy is awesome and pretty much rules the world of “almost seven year olds.”

I workout and focus on my fitness BECAUSE of my son. He is my REASON. I want to be around for his entire childhood and well into his adulthood. There are tons of things that can happen to cut my time short that are out of my control. I choose to not worry about those. But, I can do everything in my power to stay healthy so that I don’t succumb to the preventable, chronic diseases that permeate our society.

Exercise is good for my mental health. It truly helps level out my moods. For that reason, exercise makes me a better person and that makes me a better Mom. My son needs me to be available mentally and emotionally.

For too long I didn’t exercise because I felt guilty about putting my son into childcare or leaving him at home. I suffered greatly from that because my weight was too high, my health was bad, and my emotions were horrible. I was depressed and a bad Mom.

Now I do set aside time each day for ME so I can be that better person for HIM. I am healthier, happier, and more confident. I am a better Mom. Spending an hour or two each day focusing on me is worth it if I am more present the other hours of the day.

Please do not use your children as an excuse to not get healthier. You need to take control of your health so you can be around for many years for your kids. You need to take care of YOU so you have more to give to your children.

Now think about what you are teaching your children when you exercise. You are teaching them that taking responsibility for your health is important and they should do it too. Fitness becomes normal in their world. You want to model a healthy lifestyle and give them the tools to do it themselves. Living healthy is quite a legacy.

I know everyone has unique situations. My access to a gym and the fact I have one child makes it easier in some ways to exercise. I know other people have unique situations that make exercise more complicated. I get that. But, my job as YOUR COACH is to remind you that exercise is still very important. You can make it work. It just takes creativity. YOU CAN DO IT!!! Resolve and commit to make it happen.

Consider Your Words: What Are We Teaching Our Children?

Today, I want to talk about something that is very close to my heart.

That is how we talk about our bodies…especially around our children.

Our children are sponges and they take in everything we say. That includes the good and the bad. They pick up on our attitudes and our opinions.

I know I am guilty of show discontent with my body around my son. I make a point to never say, “I really dislike X, Y, or Z about my body” straight to him. But, I know he has heard me make hard statements to other people. If he is around me he is going to pick up on what I say.

What is this teaching my son??

Mommy is not happy with her body. I wonder what is wrong with mine.

Not good.

My desire for my son is to love his body for the amazing creation that it is. I want him to see his body as a Temple. It is worthy of our care because God created it.

I want him to view exercise as a good thing because it keeps his amazing body healthy, strong, and active.

I don’t want him thinking we exercise to keep ourselves pretty, handsome, or to fix something he doesn’t like. At that point, exercise becomes a chore and a curse that will ultimately bear no fruit.

Why?

We will never be satisfied with our bodies. We live in an imperfect, fallen vessel. Amazing? Yes. But, still imperfect.

So, let’s consider our words.

Do we (me included) demonstrate discontent for our bodies around children?

Directly or indirectly?

If we do, we have got to change the family tree. We cannot pass the curse of bad body image onto our children.

It is hard to break that curse in ourselves. Let’s not pass it down.

Okay?

Let’s covenant together right here and right now that everyone reading this (or writing this) will STOP ALL poor body image talk around our children.

Let’s covenant that we will teach our children that their bodies are AMAZING POWERHOUSES that God created with a purpose.

Let’s covenant that we will teach our children that they can do whatever they darn well please with that AMAZING BODY with the proper training and diet.

We could really start a movement.

Join me?

Hey, Fitness World… Let’s Try Something New!

Re-posted from September 9, 2013

I have been thinking a lot lately about how I look at fitness and how I want to train myself and others. I’ve been thinking about the whole fitness world and our society as a whole. And I have allowed myself to dream.

Will you come along with me as we dream together??

Let’s dream together of a world where women are confident in themselves and their bodies.

I know it is really hard to think about because we have all been trained by our society to think of the ideal female form as really thin, almost waif like. This ‘ideal’ woman has a body that is near impossible to achieve without constant dieting and sadistic amounts of exercise. And then since it is nearly impossible to achieve women get stuck in a downward spiral of trying to achieve this body and then constantly failing. Eventually, women just quit trying all the while still yearning for that perfect body.

What if…

What if we gave up on what society was trying to tell us?

What if we acknowledged that our bodies are amazing and strong?

What IF we ate well and exercised because we LOVED our bodies, not because we hated them??

That raises a few questions, doesn’t it?

How can we move from believing our bodies are horrible and hating them to believing our bodies are amazing and loving them?

I have a few ideas….

1) “She is Clothed With STRENGTH and DIGNITY…” (Proberbs 31:25)

That is what our Creator said about our bodies. That is not what society says.

Which one do you think we should believe?

I, for one, CHOOSE to believe what my Creator has to say about His handiwork.

I am STRONG.

I am SPECIAL.

I am DIGNIFIED.

I am LOVED.

NO….MATTER….WHAT…!!!

Keep repeating that to yourself as many times as it takes for you to believe it.

2) Forget about the scale.

I would say at some point we have all been slaves to the scale.

How often do you weigh yourself? Bi-Weekly? Weekly? Daily? Morning and Evening?

How do you feel when you weigh yourself? Awesome or Defeated? And how is your mood after you weigh yourself?

Goodness, it is crazy how much we allow that crazy piece of eqipment to determine our moods and emotions? Do we find our worth in a scale or elsewhere?

If you are following along with Number One above you know that scale has absolutely ZERO authority over your worth. Z…E…R…O…!!!

There are also all kinds of factors that go into your weight. The scale does not differentiate between fat, muscle, and essential organs.

You could actually carry a lot of muscle, therefore registering a high number on the scale, and assume you need to lose a ton of weight. The reality could be that you don’t need to lose that much FAT after all.

Forget the scale.

It is not your friend.

Chunk it.

3) Focus on Goals

You’ve ditched the scale, right?

So, how can you track your progress?

GOALS.

Tangible, quantifiable goals.

And, a certain number on the scale does not count.

Pick fitness goals. Run a 5K. Run a marathon. Finish an obstacle race or mud run. Set strength/lifting goals.

Ultimately, if doesn’t really matter what you choose but choose something amazing.

Pick something awesome.

Pick something that seems impossible. Break it down into achievable steps. And dive into achieving them.

And as you achieve more and more goals you will realize how awesome you feel. Your confidence will go up. You will realize that your body is pretty awesome too.

You are strong.

You are fast.

You are an athlete.

Now you will love your body.

You will eat to fuel it and exercise it to keep it in tip-top shape.

Here is where I share my specific dream…

4) I Dream Women Will Acknowledge Their Amazing STRENGTH.

I am mad at society for lying to women by saying they should be thin and weak.

I am also mad that society has been lying to women about their strength and that lifting anything over a 10 pound dumbbell will make them “big and bulky” like men.

Guess what?

Women are STRONG!!

And, you will NOT get big and bulky like men. It is biologically and genetically impossible for women to get that big. (Well, you can if you are taking steroids but we won’t even discuss that.)

We are holding ourselves back and not realizing how amazing our bodies are because we believe all the insane myths circulating on the internet and in mainstream ‘fitness’ magazines.

I could go on and on and on and on about these myths and perhaps I’ll write more posts about them at another time.

I will say it again…

WOMEN ARE STRONG!!

There is no reason why we can’t squat, bench press, and deadlift with the men.

And here’s the ironic thing……

By going against society and pursuing high levels of strength and eating good food to fuel our bodies we will achieve th3 lean and tight body we thought society wanted us to have all along.

Hmmmmm….Interesting.

Now go lift something heavy and put it back down.

Do it again….

And again….

And again….

…………….

Let’s Talk More!!!!

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For The LOVE of Your Body…EAT MORE FOOD!

I have my own journey in food and eating. It has been a long and often difficult journey from restriction to freedom. I know MANY people could tell the same story and are probably still living the story.

The standard restrictive method of dieting is prevalent in our society.

The “1200 Calorie Diet”

It is EVERYWHERE!

I really don’t know who came up with the idea that 1200 calories was the standard number of calories for losing weight.  But, someone did and now you will read about it in magazines, see it on the TV, and hear people talking about it.

I was just as guilty of this early on in my weight loss/health journey.  I made a point to eat only 1200 calories a day for months on end.  It WORKED!  I did indeed lose weight but eventually it stalled.

I have learned a lot about the human body since then.

I had an “AH HA!” moment awhile back.

Check this out:

Let’s say I go into a coma and I’m in the hospital depending on the staff to care for my every need. The staff would need to feed me through a tube and they would use a formula based on my sex, age, height, and weight to figure out how many calories I would need to sustain life. This is called your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate). This is how many calories per day your body needs to continue breathing, heart beating, kidneys filtering, stomach digesting, brain functioning, etc.  You get the idea. I would not be moving at all outside of assisted turning and such.

Well, I did some calculations and found that my BMR is right around 1450 calories.

1450 calories MINIMUM to sustain a healthy life!!!

(Note: You can calculate your BMR using the calculator HERE.  Enter in your information and calculate.  The first number is your BMR or what you would need if in a coma.  The second number is your TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure).  That takes into your estimated activity levels each day and how many calories you need to sustain that level.)

But, I’m not in a coma.  I am moving around.  I am a MOM. I am on my feet all day.  I bend. I lift. I chase. I talk. I think.  I eat. I exercise.  All these things require calories to function.  That goes on TOP of my BMR (1450 calories per day).

Are you following me?

So, WHY the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks, would I ever eat 1200 calories?

Once I had this realization and started to EAT MORE FOOD many great things began to happen.

• I was more satisfied throughout the day.
• I’m not always gunning for the next meal.  I’m steady.
• I have far less cravings.
• I do not binge.
• I am more in tune with my body and what it needs or does not want.
• I eat less junk.
• I have more energy.
• I sleep better at night.
• My body is CHANGING! It is a wonder (okay, not really) that I am actually achieving the body I’ve always wanted by giving it the fuel it NEEDS!
• I LOVE MY BODY!!!

Now, I could eat 1200 calories a day and still live. I’ve done it and I’m still alive today.  The body is amazing at its ability to do what it needs to do to sustain life.  It will shut down less critical functions so that its energy can go to maintaining life.

What does that mean?

It means that you live at a less than optimal level.  You aren’t truly healthy and you aren’t happy.  Your body just doesn’t have the resources to maintain those aspects of living.  You are alive but not really.

So, I now eat well above 1200 calories a day.

I eat well above my BMR (1450 calories/ day) every day.

I eat what most people would shudder at the thought of eating.

I EAT MORE FOOD!

I am HAPPY!

I am HEALTHY!

I am FUELED!

And my body is doing what I am asking it to do!

So, Please!!

For the LOVE of Your BODY….

EAT MORE FOOD!!

 

I’m always here!

Victim Vs. Victor: Which One Are You?

Reposted from July 22, 2013

A few months ago I was reading through the archives of one of my all-time favorite Facebook pages/website, Lean Bodies Consulting. I read this article and it hit me profoundly. It was a total “AH HA!” moment.

Let me explain.

When you talking to someone who is dieting, how often do you hear her say, “I can’t have this,that, or the other because I’m on a diet.” Or, “UGH! I want that cookie so bad but I can’t!! Whaaaaaa!”

How annoying is that? It is. And I am completely guilty of it too.

But, let’s look at that attitude for what it really is. It is a VICTIM mentality. You are a victim of the food. The food and what kind of food it is is determining what you do and how you feel about it. And the emotions and feelings are more often than not very negative.

What happens over time? The negative feelings towards food, the I can eat that and not that attitude, eventually backfires. You end up eating every last bit of food that was on your ‘bad’ list. Then you feel guilty about it and you hate yourself for giving in. The negativity cycle continues. Eventually you just get tired and your resolve becomes nothing and all progress is lost.

Let’s flip the coin. What if you said, “I can eat anything I dang well please. But, I CHOOSE not to right now because my goals are more important than that food.”

Hmmmmmmmm…..

That completely changes things doesn’t it??? That puts everything in your court. YOU are in control. YOU are in charge. YOU make the choices.  Food has nothing on you. Food is just an object that is neither good or bad. There is empowerment here and I love it.

Empowerment Vs. Deprivation

What would you choose?

It is all about mindset. And mindset is a large percentage (90%?) of your success. Get your mind in the right place and you will go far.

Victim Vs. Victor!  Which one are you??

BLESSINGS!

Why Diets Are Not Rocket Science…

Let’s talk about “Diets” today. 🙂

That is always such a fun topic, isn’t it??

I remember the first time I really learned the word “diet.” I was in the Girl Scouts and my troop was in front of a grocery store trying to sell our cookies to passersby. It took me awhile to break out of my shy shell to actually ask them if they would buy my cookies. A few did buy a box or two but the most common thing I heard was, “No Sweetie. I’m on a diet.” That scene has stuck in my head every since. Funny how our memory works sometimes.

Anyway, Now it seems like everyone and their mother is on a diet.

The Adkins Diet

The South Beach Diet

Weight Watchers

Slim Fast

Sugar Busters

The Virgin Diet

Body by Vi

Shakeology

Plexus Slim

Paleo*

Vegetarian/Vegan*

(* This article is written in regards to people making changes in their way of eating in order to lose weight and/or change their body composition. It is not written towards those who have adopted a new lifestyle based on religious and/or ethical reasons. Carry on. )

Gluten-Free

Grain-Free

Juice Fasts

Green Smoothie Diet

Do I need to keep going?? Get the picture. There is a diet for just about everybody. If Diet A didn’t work for you then try Diet B. When Diet B doesn’t work then try Diet C with more gusto. And the pattern keeps going on and on and on.

But, here’s the deal with these diets. They are NOT Rocket Science!!!

I say that because in the end they have the same objective. They reduce calories.

Simple.

The root of any nutrition plan for the goal of reducing weight/fat is to eat at a deficit so that you are consuming less calories than your body needs so that your body burns fat to retrieve the energy it needs.

Now, most of the diet books you read will tell you that THEIR diet is the ONE because it helps you eliminate this, that, or the other and by doing so you have discovered the SECRET to dropping pounds and inches.

You drop processed foods.

You drop gluten.

You drop grains and legumes.

You drop animal products (meat, eggs, and dairy).

You replace meals with shakes.

In the process of eliminating certain foods or perhaps even meals you replace those foods probably with more fruits and vegetables and other healthier options. If you are coming from a fairly typical SAD diet (Standard American Diet) you are going from a pretty processed diet to a more whole foods diet.

You are reducing calories.

Whole Foods tend to be nutrient dense and not calorie dense. You can eat more but still get less calories.

So, you are eating at that magical calorie deficit.

It isn’t hocus pocus. It isn’t a DIET SECRET that some scientists discovered and the Hollywood star endorsed. It is not rocket science.

Reduce your calories and exercise more. You will lose pounds and inches….just like that**.

This is something you can do on your own by making smart choices and developing good habits one at a time.

Replace the junk with a whole food.

Drink more water.

Drink tea instead of soda.

Drop the sugar.

Get a lean protein at every meal.

Eat more vegetables and fruits.

One step at a time. You can make choices on your own. You can take control of your own health without all the chatter out there from “diet gurus.”

 

If you really don’t think you can do this on your own then a Nutrition Coach is a splendid idea.  As your Nutrition Coach I will guide in making those healthy habits.  I will hold your hand.  I will encourage you. I will point you in the right direction. I will give you a sensible plan that does not involve a single “diet.” It is balanced and it is sustainable. No Absolutes.

 

I’m always here,

 

 

 

**Another disclaimer. I acknowledge that there are people out there who are in situations physically that make it harder to lose weight. Hormones. Food Intolerances. Etc. That is why I strongly recommend you hire a Nutrition Coach or even a Nutritionist or Dietician to help you on your path. For the vast majority of the American population, however, it is easier than book publishers and the diet food industry would like us to believe.