How often do you hear a compliment and you just deflect it?
Do you say….
“Oh, I have a long way to go, though.”
“No, you must be kidding.”
“It was nothing, really.”
I do it too but I am learning something new.
What if we all decided to really change things up and actually started taking compliments?
First off, you need to know that you are worthy of and deserve the compliment you are receiving. The first step is to acknowledge that.
People who accept compliments are comfortable and confident in their own skin. They know that what is being said about them is true and are willing to acknowledge it when said by another person.
Second, you need to show other people that they are important too by accepting their compliment. When you accept a compliment you are basically telling that person that you value her opinion and her opinion is important to you. Even if you don’t feel like the compliment is 100% true (key word there is FEEL) remember that deflecting the compliment is downplaying someone else’s opinion.
Show other people their value by accepting your own value. Tricky, huh?
Also remember that if you deflect too many compliments you will eventually notice that you are getting less and less compliments. Who wants to say something positive and have it thrown back? Stop that process and accept the compliment. We all need to hear verbal slaps-on-the-back.
What can you say when accepting a compliment?
“I appreciate that.”
“You are so sweet for noticing.”
“You are so kind to say that to me.”
“I have been working hard on this and it makes me feel so good knowing someone else is noticing.”
Don’t forget to smile!! 🙂
I think we sometimes feel that by deflecting compliments we are being humble. In some ways that is true but in the long run that humility does more damage than good. You don’t accept your own worth. You don’t acknowledge the validity of other opinions. And the cycle continues.
Next time you hear a compliment, try this….
Look the person in the eye.
Say, “Thank you.”
And if it is appropriate at that time give the person a compliment too especially if that person is instrumental in your success. Just be sure you are being genuine.
“You are looking so good these days!!”
“Thank you so much!! But, you know, I couldn’t do it without your support. You mean so much to me.”
As you are working on learning to take compliments also practice giving compliments. Be honest and be genuine. Share the love and make someone else’s day. So many times I have heard someone say, “So and So said ‘XYZ’ and it totally made my day. I needed to hear that.”
Lift people up and Be Lifted Up!!!
What is the most awesome compliment you have ever received??